Details [Explicit]

by Alex Koman

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credits

released October 29, 2017

Music and lyrics - Alexander Emerson Koman
Producer - Alexander Emerson Koman
Recording Engineer - Alexander Emerson Koman
Programming Engineer - Alexander Emerson Koman
Mixing Engineer - Alexander Emerson Koman
Mastering Engineer - Paul M Sammes
Vocals - Alexander Emerson Koman

© 2017 Syrup For The Stars Music

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Alex Koman Winston Salem, North Carolina

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Track Name: Memory of Marie
A woman named Marie was destined for me
Passing time with three other guys
I wouldn’t let on that I fancied her so
Could she see through my disguise?

As I never thought she would go home
With one of those fellers when she was so stellar
Sending out all those pheromones

Well, I was entranced by her enigmatic charm
While she danced by the bar one night, alone
Something familiar in her mannerism
Calmed me inside of my bones

And I never thought she would come home
But this storyteller gave her a bestseller
And she passed me a napkin note

The next day I managed to phone call Marie
It was scary but I never felt so excited
Adrenaline rushed as she gushed and she gushed
Admitting she wanted the same things I did

It started a fling and turned into more
It alarmed those three other guys
One felt so threatened; I questioned her, “Why?”
“He disinvested,” she said, “but then changed his mind”

On that morning I had a new job interview
But this storyteller was a disheartened dweller
Preoccupied by what he knew

And the next day that one guy was back with Marie
The two were committed and decidedly steady
He left on a plane and took her with him too
Though I was behind, a part of me grew
They traveled the world ‘til their story unfurled
And my head swirled ‘cause I didn’t like it
That one guy was back with Marie
Life was sucking!

Yet there was a piece of me that became free
I’d taken a chance and she’d said, “Yes, please!”
I’d been thrown overboard, but my confidence soared
Comfort zones were ignored and we’d gone exploring
I accepted the state of things
And was happy
I accepted the state of things
And was happy
I’m bolder because of my memory of Marie
Track Name: By the Time I Was Through
Chelsee’s Coffee Shop is where I joined the circle jam
Jamming about Jesus, overheard by a religious woman
Who asked me to her church, ‘bout half an hour from my house
A couple weekends later, I obliged and was inspired by the pastor’s mouth

Performing for the congregation became my regular
I learned about the sound booth and operated the projector
Praised for all I did but never felt it was enough because
Above and beyond is the way God loves
Above and beyond

The holy dove descended, I got baptized in the bath
And made the children laugh at VBS sometime before that
Broke my back from dancing, went to Comprehensive Rehab
Got thrown a house warming party when I moved out to Springdale

A deacon once told me to teach the same things
“Agree to all the tenets, and you can keep on coming”
I refused to sign the paper ‘cause my faith wasn’t aligned
They seemed to be the homophobic kind
The homophobic kind

Volunteered to stay until they got a replacement
Though I had a bought a drum kit and a bass to play with
We never had the worship band my co-leader envisioned
She founded a service in another town

A friend came out and helped me reconfigure our sound system
Organized the cables, and I cleaned up the room
The pastor quit his job and said he was done with preaching
‘Cause the numbers had dwindled to a few
And we got on bad terms too
Yeah, the numbers had dwindled to a few
By the time I was through
Track Name: In Publication
Social butterflies don’t live very long
But frequenting the dive, I introduced myself to everyone
Circadian rhythm shifted but no fatigue throughout the day
This hypomanic songster attended a writer’s gathering

Shook hands with a producer
But soon went to the hospital
Because I wasn’t very lucid
But I got on his schedule

My bandmate put me out two thousand dollars
I was on antipsychotics, and all she wanted was narcotics

Then hey! Hey, hey, hey!
The studio moved to another space
Delay! Delay, delay!
The producer wanted more compensation

Than we first agreed upon

Releasing the CD but feeling legally wronged
I refused to pay him anymore, then lawyers got involved
I made acoustic versions based on first drafts of those songs
And later had a rift with the engineer from that album

Realized that people matter
More than any kind of tune
Empathized with their attachments
To the work I had them do

Then hey! Hey, hey, hey!
I made them a peace offering
Hooray! Hooray, hooray!
The producer decided to take

But hey! Hey, hey, hey!
The legal paranoia didn’t go away
Today! Today, today!
I live in isolation, but I’m in publication!

Hey, hey, hey!
Track Name: Boo
Spring of junior year I had third period lunch
Butt on the bricks or the grass of the courtyard
Your buzz cut, blonde hair, fair skin, brown eyes
Got me going, I was in for a surprise

Crayons only come in so many colors
You amazed me more than all of the others

‘Cause you’re brilliant, sweet, petite
And I loved ya
Escorted you to your locker
I was a smitten kitten for you
And you took me to the petting zoo
Boo, you brought me to life

Smoothies from the shop after school at your house
Perched on the porch, we weren’t parched anymore
Your "upstairs, don’t care" room on the top floor
Attitude impressed me when we went to explore

Boyfriends only come in so many types
I was just like the others, your mama was right

‘Cause I was brilliant, dark, tall
And you loved me
The sex was good and the mood was always
You were a smitten kitten too
And I took you to the petting zoo
Boo, you brought me to life

We were brilliant, smart, two
Teenage lovers
Butterflies flew when we were together

We were smitten kittens all the way through
Just a-goin’ to the petting zoo

We were brilliant, sharp, hot
So we thought, we could
Have our way with each other’s bods
We were smitten kittens all the way through
Just a-goin’ to the petting zoo
Just a-goin’ to the petting zoo
Just a-goin’ to the petting zoo
Boo, you brought me to life
Track Name: Lolo's Beau
Kay, Lolo and Sally Anne
I met at Borders Books
For emo kids, it was a hot spot
Smoking by the chairs

Kay said hi, be my best friend
We skipped to McDonald’s on the other end
Of the parking lot where we met
John and Stan

And we went back to the cracks
Where Lolo was taking a stroll

Her hair was long, she had perfect brows
Her laughter was infectious and loud
I was dating someone else
My buddy’s best friend
He came to meet us and
Liked her as well
Summertime spell

Sally Anne was jealous
When we went to the pool
Gave my attention to Lolo
‘Cause she was so cool

Kay fell to the wayside
And my bud was too busy
Getting ready for that
Barbecue

The best friend told me oh so coldly
Not to fall for her

So when Lolo showed up in her teal halter top
We had a deep conversation in the basement
Then danced in the kitchen
While all our friends ate
We were infatuated
On this unofficial date
I was elated

Bethabara Park, where we later almost kissed
Marked a fallout with my buddy
‘Cause I’d broken trust with him

Lolo and I got to know for four years
Each other, we were steady souvenirs
Of that 2006
Madness and sticked
Together, we clicked
It was clear
There was no one that could stop us
We felt invincible
Sally Anne said goodbye to us both
It was a time for our growth
Becoming Lolo’s beau
Track Name: When I Lived on the Isle
Goodbye to the townhouse
Apartment in the woods
Saying "Adieu" to Alex
And moving to New York

Cabin pressure rose
As I got on the plane
I had bought an iPod
To keep me company

Those Manhattan dreams
That still occur in my sleep
Remind me of a time
I was truly happy
Happy!

Then, I wasn’t present
Full of anxiety
But did so much fun stuff
I was overlooking

School was awesome, I lost weight
Got to ride the subway train
Twenty blocks to Union Square
I walked

Visited by Alex
That dorm room was like a palace
We saw the Brooklyn Bridge
And felt like kings
But I was dieting!

I was so skinny!

Never knew it had been blissful
‘Til many ages later, ‘cause of
Yoga, therapy, and meditation

I was overlooking happiness
I’m done with dwelling in my mess
It’s childish to think things are gonna change
If I don’t take responsibility
Reframe my mind and memories
I’ll always see the down side of things

I overlooked the greatest things
The love that was in front of me
The limbo that I thought it was instead
In my head, the chemicals were wrong
But attitudes can overcome
Just see outside myself once in a while
If I had known, I would have smiled
If I had known, I would have smiled
When I lived on the isle
Track Name: Flame to Blame
Suitemates are characters
The greatest of the books
History will notice
Yours said to be myself

‘Cause I went crying down the hall
Up those stairs and got some stares
Probably from strangers
Who didn’t understand

You changed my life forever
But we’re not to be together
‘Cause you’ve got Mike across the seas
So why did you go out with me?

I got you an autograph
From our favorite band
Lead singers are inspirations
But actresses are insincere

You brought me breakfast in bed
When I had a sickness
It was all a fleeting moment
Meaningless and without care

But I gave my love to you
Butterflies, our stomachs flew
The sunrise felt just like your eyes
From D.H. Hill, I still feel

The warmth that came inside
That life, isn’t gone
Monica gave good advice
The reason why I’m left behind

Is the reason why you came
I’m the only one to blame
Blame
You’re a spark, and I’m a flame to blame
Blame
You’re a spark, and I’m a flame to blame
Blame
You’re a spark, and I’m a flame

Suitemates are characters
The greatest of the books
History will notice
Yours said to be myself

I’m not okay
It was just a game
To play while your boyfriend’s
Abroad

Who am I kidding?
I’ve learned a lot today
I know you’re married
I was just a flame to blame
Track Name: Into Blockbuster [Explicit]
Boo and I broke up
I joined the engineers
Going on a trip to Spain
Five weeks that summer

I laughed ‘cause I was free
And that’s when I met Dolly
Probably she had her sights on me
Just as well

Oh, just as well

Picture-taking, tourist-travelin’
Boring art museums
Excited at the prospect
Of relationship that’s real
Really connected

Valley walks and sunset shots
And Bar Rivera wine
Diego drew a picture in my notebook
It’s fine

Dolly took an interest
To his artistic shine
Hasta, Alex, tonight’s my date
My chance to fuck a foreign boy

Oh, just as well

I went to the theater
To watch Star Wars in Castellano
Control freak in the movie
Was like my own life
Really revealing

I phoned Boo on our four-year
Across the sea, it seemed so clear
A postcard wasn’t enough
To quell my thoughts

The starscape in Segovia
Made me feel sorry for her
What we had was brilliant
And was gone

But I returned with a
Glass kaleidoscope
To remind me
Trust is hard to earn
Dolly got burned

Trying to find out
How I would move on
I dove head first
Into Blockbuster
Track Name: Details
Remember when I was ill
And thought I was a hero?
Going to the hospital with Dad
He visited my room every night
When he was through seeing patients
He had patience with me and let me
Recover on my own timeline
His compassionate and soft side
Gentle hugs and gentle hands
What a gentle man he’s been
He’s always there
When I needed him to rescue

Remember the second time
When I stopped taking the pills
On the phone, he was out of town
But directed me home
Where his secretary could help
It meant so much to me
His colleagues were present
And I was not alone
Gifted and graced by their
Shining faces until he showed up
And he was there
To advocate on my behalf

The laughter of my father
Is the sweetest sound
‘Cause I know he has nothing
To worry about
He’s in charge of many people
And looks after me too
But golf games and those model trains
Tell me he’s pulling through

One day, he’ll be gone, and I’ll imagine
He’s at a long conference
Giving lectures with God
On how to heal angels
‘Cause he says I’m his angel
He’ll call from his car, up in heaven
On his way to work, saying
“Did you see the mountain in the backyard?”
“I painted it with water”
“And added a couple trees”
I’ll tell him, “Dad, I love the details”
“You’re good at details”

Tell him, “Dad, when I was ill”

“You always handled the details”
Track Name: Mrs. Edwards
Mrs. Edwards told me stories about her previous life
Catch her in the garden while I was in the yard
Out playing “chase down Midnight”
That cat would run into her flowers
Disappear with magic powers
She’d come out to say, “Hi, Alec!”
She never said my name right
But she probably couldn’t hear
Years of experience wore down her ears

Working in Biltmore as a maid
Getting paid living on the estate
Later got a job teaching at Whitaker
I loved her

I was only three, four, or five
I’d go inside when she’d invite
She wanted to show me pictures of her family
They had all grown up, her kids were gone
Moved about on their own
She was alone, but she had me

World Cultures class in seventh grade
The days had passed, and she had aged
But let me borrow her slide show for my
Greece project, I said, “You’re the best!”

She got me rabbits and a Spanish guitar
She knew I loved music and animals
But when I got tall, she didn’t seem to come out anymore
Even on Halloween, I kept going to
Her front door, but it looked brand new
Something changed, and I felt so afraid

Mrs. Edwards told me stories about her previous life
Catch her in the garden while I was in the yard
Out playing “chase down Midnight”

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